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The Dementors are back at Shoreview Library. I had thought that the sunlight had banished them, but apparently not entirely. Alas. Yesterday, when I was working at the library, way in the back, I was singing to the books (like one does) and keeping up a personal running commentary (like I do) and I got shushed again.
That crushed the joy of my heart, because, frankly, half the time I don't even realize I'm doing it, and secondly, what kind of horrible job do you have to have that a little happy chatter makes you go to a manager to ask someone to shut it? Fist of all, grow some ovaries and ask me to pipe down yourself, and, second, I spent the rest of the day when anyone in that part of the office talked, coughed, or laughed thinking angrily "SHUT THE F*CK UP, IF I HAVE TO BE QUIET SO DO YOU" which, I can tell you, makes for a really crappy work environment.
And, so I am sorry to tell you that the joy crushers have lived on at that library despite the lovely new building and natural light.
For those who haven't been following along, previously, when I first started working as an itinerate page (sounds like it should come with a lute, no?) for the Ramsey County Library system, full-time employees would always ask me things like, "Oh, how do you like working at the library," to which the answer was almost always some kind of pleasant affirmative, and then, more surreptitiously, "So... have you worked at ALL the branches yet? Do you have a favorite?"
I discovered quickly that my colleagues were fishing. They wanted to know if I'd worked at Shoreview and what I thought of that hellscape. Because, everyone hated working there. Before the renovation (when they got an automatic check-in machine), there was a tendency for the circulation manager to put the subs (which is what pages often are) on check-in duty, which was grueling. When I first started working, I took a lot more hours at a lot more places, and so I figured I could deal with the grueling by bringing along music on an iPod, like I'd seen other people doing at other branches when they were stuck doing really menial things away from the desk, right?
Within seconds of actually starting to enjoy shelving at one point because the music was lifting my heart and I was humming very quietly under my breath, the circulation staff sent up a high up manager from the basement of the library where all of the "big brass" such as it is in circulation work to inform me that 1) I wasn't to have fun, and 2) that I was not allowed headphones (despite what I'd seen modeled literally everywhere else) ever, because what if I was paged over the intercom (which is only ridiculous because at that time the entirety of Shoreview's library was no larger than my living room/dinning room. If someone wanted me, they could WAVE.)
I came home and told Shawn how soul crushing that was--because, despite what you're thinking, modern libraries are NOT quiet places. Teens are often carrying on in the teen room, no one get shushed for talking, and so there's usually this pleasant hum of the kind of white noise you have at coffee shops. She said, "So, don't work there again." And we joked that, because they had a basement, they must keep Dementors in it to suck all the joy out everyone who works there.
And then no one worked at Shoreview when they closed it to build the new building, and when I went back to the new place all the old managers seemed to have moved on, so I thought it was safe.
Not entirely, it turns out.
I know some of you are reading this thinking, "Jeez, Lyda, can't you just respect other people's wishes for silence?" And, yeah, you know, I did. I worked the rest of the day without making any happy noises whatsoever... or grumpy noises for that matter. But, there's silence and then there's oppressive silence. And, while the money is nice, they need me more than I need them. There are six other branches that I can work at, where I can be appreciated for my bubbliness. Shoreview is the ONLY place I have EVER been hushed at my job.
And, I think what bothers me more than the shushing, is that it's always when I'm actually happy in a quiet corner, by myself. It's not like I'm standing in a busy place, not working, stopping anyone else from working, and talking loudly with a coworker or laughing too much or doing the sorts of things that people normally associate with disruptive behavior. I am always, always totally alone and making very quiet happy joyful little commentary to myself in an not only inside voice, but in an only just barely audible voice. Half the time, I don't even realize I'm doing it, because it's not like I'm carrying on with myself in a booming 'can this reach the back of the balcony?' theater voice, which, by the way, I DO possess. I swear it really is that someone hears my joy and wants to kill it.
This is a bit hyperbolic. I will probably work there again, but it is a huge disappointment and I wanted to rant about it and lament that the Dementors are back.
Maybe they'll go away when the rain clears up.
I hear sunlight can kill a Dementor.
That crushed the joy of my heart, because, frankly, half the time I don't even realize I'm doing it, and secondly, what kind of horrible job do you have to have that a little happy chatter makes you go to a manager to ask someone to shut it? Fist of all, grow some ovaries and ask me to pipe down yourself, and, second, I spent the rest of the day when anyone in that part of the office talked, coughed, or laughed thinking angrily "SHUT THE F*CK UP, IF I HAVE TO BE QUIET SO DO YOU" which, I can tell you, makes for a really crappy work environment.
And, so I am sorry to tell you that the joy crushers have lived on at that library despite the lovely new building and natural light.
For those who haven't been following along, previously, when I first started working as an itinerate page (sounds like it should come with a lute, no?) for the Ramsey County Library system, full-time employees would always ask me things like, "Oh, how do you like working at the library," to which the answer was almost always some kind of pleasant affirmative, and then, more surreptitiously, "So... have you worked at ALL the branches yet? Do you have a favorite?"
I discovered quickly that my colleagues were fishing. They wanted to know if I'd worked at Shoreview and what I thought of that hellscape. Because, everyone hated working there. Before the renovation (when they got an automatic check-in machine), there was a tendency for the circulation manager to put the subs (which is what pages often are) on check-in duty, which was grueling. When I first started working, I took a lot more hours at a lot more places, and so I figured I could deal with the grueling by bringing along music on an iPod, like I'd seen other people doing at other branches when they were stuck doing really menial things away from the desk, right?
Within seconds of actually starting to enjoy shelving at one point because the music was lifting my heart and I was humming very quietly under my breath, the circulation staff sent up a high up manager from the basement of the library where all of the "big brass" such as it is in circulation work to inform me that 1) I wasn't to have fun, and 2) that I was not allowed headphones (despite what I'd seen modeled literally everywhere else) ever, because what if I was paged over the intercom (which is only ridiculous because at that time the entirety of Shoreview's library was no larger than my living room/dinning room. If someone wanted me, they could WAVE.)
I came home and told Shawn how soul crushing that was--because, despite what you're thinking, modern libraries are NOT quiet places. Teens are often carrying on in the teen room, no one get shushed for talking, and so there's usually this pleasant hum of the kind of white noise you have at coffee shops. She said, "So, don't work there again." And we joked that, because they had a basement, they must keep Dementors in it to suck all the joy out everyone who works there.
And then no one worked at Shoreview when they closed it to build the new building, and when I went back to the new place all the old managers seemed to have moved on, so I thought it was safe.
Not entirely, it turns out.
I know some of you are reading this thinking, "Jeez, Lyda, can't you just respect other people's wishes for silence?" And, yeah, you know, I did. I worked the rest of the day without making any happy noises whatsoever... or grumpy noises for that matter. But, there's silence and then there's oppressive silence. And, while the money is nice, they need me more than I need them. There are six other branches that I can work at, where I can be appreciated for my bubbliness. Shoreview is the ONLY place I have EVER been hushed at my job.
And, I think what bothers me more than the shushing, is that it's always when I'm actually happy in a quiet corner, by myself. It's not like I'm standing in a busy place, not working, stopping anyone else from working, and talking loudly with a coworker or laughing too much or doing the sorts of things that people normally associate with disruptive behavior. I am always, always totally alone and making very quiet happy joyful little commentary to myself in an not only inside voice, but in an only just barely audible voice. Half the time, I don't even realize I'm doing it, because it's not like I'm carrying on with myself in a booming 'can this reach the back of the balcony?' theater voice, which, by the way, I DO possess. I swear it really is that someone hears my joy and wants to kill it.
This is a bit hyperbolic. I will probably work there again, but it is a huge disappointment and I wanted to rant about it and lament that the Dementors are back.
Maybe they'll go away when the rain clears up.
I hear sunlight can kill a Dementor.
