Day in the Life of an Idiot

But, I went to the Roseville library the day before yesterday and got totally judged by the circ staff who helped me check out.

My Ramsey County library card has been lost for ages, but I always had the keychain bit that had the barcode, etc. Recently, however, the keychain dealio started peeling and finally, the hole that attaches to the key ring had worn through it and it fell off. I forgot about that, however, when I returned a pile of manga to the library on Wednesday afternoon. Shawn was working late-ish, so I decided to do a quick dash through the library, after returning my books, to see what I might pick up to read next. I go to check out and realize, "Oh shit, that's right, the damn keychain thingie is sitting on my dresser in my bedroom." Thanks to years of working at that library, however, I knew that the people at the front desk can check you out if you have a driver's license on you. So, I take my pile of manga to the front desk. I recognize the person helping me, an older woman that I used to work with. I remember liking her a lot, actually. She's a science fiction fan and nerdy in what I'd normally say are "all the right ways," BUT....

First off, she has no idea who I am.  I mean, if this were all that had happened, I wouldn't even find it all that strange.  Yes, sure, I worked right beside her for actual years, but lots of time has passed and I was always an irregular sub. Some people are bad with faces, too. I am wearing a mask, my hair is always different, etc. She does, at least, recognize my name as "that author." Something about this realization--maybe she senses that I sort of thought she should remember me?--makes her suddenly compelled to make chit-chat.

This is where everything goes off the rails.

Just as a spoiler? I want you to know that I totally kept my cool and sat on the fact that I was DEEPLY offended. And, more importantly, I SAVED my rant for y'all. (I know, you're SO LUCKY. :-)

It starts fine? I make some joke about the laser loon card (which I've posted about here--and just to explain quickly for our out of towners, due to some malarky which is too complex and BORING to really get into here, St. Paul, which is in Ramsey County, is actually a SEPARATE library system. Unlike Minneapolis and Hennepin, which are the same system, albeit different from both St. Paul and Ramsey County. The point is, my loon card does not work here.) At any rate, there is some discussion of the new Minnesota state flag, the Weather, etc. It's all going pretty normally, but then maybe the circ staff lady has run out of things to say? To be fair to her, I have made things more complicated by asking her hook my St. Paul card up to my old Ramsey County card and so the awkwardness is made extra long by this slightly more onerous set of things she needs to do for me before I can check-out.

My guess is that while casting around for a topic, she lands on my books, possibly hoping to discover similar taste or something. Instead, she says: "Oh, manga." Which, you know. Good Start with the immediate awkward pause. She then looks up at me, frowns, and adds, "I normally don't see a lot of these going out from the YA section." Clearly, she means, being checked out by ADULTS, because she continues, "Just the stuff upstairs." Which is where the adult manga are shelved. And, of course, she can't mean ever, because teens take out manga by the fists full at this library. Manga is a MASSIVE part of the teen room, it's like eight or nine shelves at LEAST!

After this observation, she gives me the "And your response is..???" stare.

All the things that raced through my head, but I said none of it. I'm weirdly proud of my restraint? Instead, I just said, "Well, these are good stories, too. Adults can appreciate them."

This seemed to end things, with her little laugh and "Oh, of course they can, haha," but HOLY SHIT what I wanted to say (and what I ended up saying to myself on the drive to pick up Shawn) was Legion.

The biggest one was the fact that, not two minutes ago, I was in the teen section (obviously, where apparently I don't belong) and I saw that some (overworked to the point that they couldn't flip through the first three pages) librarian in their infinite WISDOM (not) had marked Lupin III as YA. Now, I don't expect you to know who Lupin the Third is or that the manga about this "gentleman thief" is FULL OF NUDITY, DRUGS, graphic violence, RAPE, and probably a half dozen other things that most mothers (fathers and parents) of young teens probably would NOT like them to see by accident while looking for shounen manga. It was written in the swinging-60s for ADULT MEN. Like, drinking and smoking is just taken for granted, that's just a boring every panel sort of activity for Lupin and his colleagues. (I mean, it's also funny, but it was written for ADULTS.)

Because, AS YOU KNOW, BOB, in Japan, just because something is illustrated does not automatically mean it is for children or teens--which I feel is Manga 101.

Also, in the teen section, they had Act-Age, which, frankly, I'd've pulled from the shelf when the mangaka was arrested and found guilty for child molestation--like you know, they did in Japan. In the actual CHILDREN'S area they have Polar Bear in Love, which sounds cute, but is actually a Boys' Love manga (so, written for adults with gay content)... which relies heavily on the idea that readers find constant harassment and threatened interspecies rape (and violence) funny. Which, hey, for adults, whatever, but it's DEFINITELY NOT something I want to read to my TODDLER??? Meanwhile, upstairs in the adult section, they have Cat + Gamer, which has nothing sexy or adult in it at all, but is an absolutely adorable, WHOLESOME story of a girl who accidentally gets a cat and is such a nerd that she treats learning about it like leveling up in a video game. But, I guess that it's an adult book because maybe some idiot librarian saw the "+" and thought maybe the woman was having sex with the cat??? WHO KNOWS. It would take 5 SECONDS of flipping through the book to see that it is completely g-rated.

So, what's with the "Ah, an adult creeping around in YA, I see" attitude? Or was the circ staff lady going for, "I see you like picture books; do you have the mind of a child?" or WHAT??

AND HOW WAS ANY OF IT APPROPRIATE TO SAY TO A PATRON?

Because the second thing I really would have liked to have said--which I sort of did--is, "So what?" If I want to read actual picture books about ducks walking in the rain in human boots or books with Alphabet stories, I actually can. I am allowed to take out any book I fancy from the library. It is not for anyone to judge. In fact, when I worked at the library, I would occasionally stop and read a picture book or two. They can be lovely. And adults can get the same happy feelings reading them. Who doesn't love a nice little book about baby owls? I should NOT have to justify my reading tastes to anyone.

Also, there is nothing creepy about an adult reading YA literature, illustrated or not. What. The. Actual. Fuck.

But, as to their haphazard shelving, I have long considered writing a sternly worded letter to the Ramsey County library, but 1) I don't want to be that person because it smacks of censorship, which is not my point, (my point is that it would be nice if someone at the library actually knew ANYTHING about manga) and 2) I care/don't care, you know what I mean? Shelve it in a pile on the floor for all I care, I'm just happy that someone in the Ramsey County system is BUYING manga, particularly the re-issues of the old classics like Lupin III, which you used to not be able to find ANYWHERE. I picked up my copy of the first few volumes at Uncle Hugo's back in the day. Uncle Hugo's doesn't sell a lot of manga, but the used stuff they get is often really old? I also found a full run of Kubo's (Bleach's author/artist) previous work ZombiePowder! there.

But, my point is, I don't want to cool Ramsey County's manga purchaser because I actually think they're doing a great job. It's the cataloguer or whoever is making the shelving decisions who needs some better guidelines (or time to actually do a bit a research.)

And, of course, as a former circ staff person, my advice is maybe not shame anyone for what they chose to read.

 The Dementors are back at Shoreview Library. I had thought that the sunlight had banished them, but apparently not entirely.  Alas. Yesterday, when I was working at the library, way in the back, I was singing to the books (like one does) and keeping up a personal running commentary (like I do) and I got shushed again.  

That crushed the joy of my heart, because, frankly, half the time I don't even realize I'm doing it, and secondly, what kind of horrible job do you have to have that a little happy chatter makes you go to a manager to ask someone to shut it? Fist of all, grow some ovaries and ask me to pipe down yourself, and, second, I spent the rest of the day when anyone in that part of the office talked, coughed, or laughed thinking angrily "SHUT THE F*CK UP, IF I HAVE TO BE QUIET SO DO YOU" which, I can tell you, makes for a really crappy work environment.  

And, so I am sorry to tell you that the joy crushers have lived on at that library despite the lovely new building and natural light.

For those who haven't been following along, previously, when I first started working as an itinerate page (sounds like it should come with a lute, no?) for the Ramsey County Library system, full-time employees would always ask me things like, "Oh, how do you like working at the library," to which the answer was almost always some kind of pleasant affirmative, and then, more surreptitiously, "So... have you worked at ALL the branches yet? Do you have a favorite?"  

I discovered quickly that my colleagues were fishing. They wanted to know if I'd worked at Shoreview and what I thought of that hellscape. Because, everyone hated working there. Before the renovation (when they got an automatic check-in machine), there was a tendency for the circulation manager to put the subs (which is what pages often are) on check-in duty, which was grueling. When I first started working, I took a lot more hours at a lot more places, and so I figured I could deal with the grueling by bringing along music on an iPod, like I'd seen other people doing at other branches when they were stuck doing really menial things away from the desk, right?

Within seconds of actually starting to enjoy shelving at one point because the music was lifting my heart and I was humming very quietly under my breath, the circulation staff sent up a high up manager from the basement of the library where all of the "big brass" such as it is in circulation work to inform me that 1) I wasn't to have fun, and 2) that I was not allowed headphones (despite what I'd seen modeled literally everywhere else)  ever, because what if I was paged over the intercom (which is only ridiculous because at that time the entirety of Shoreview's library was no larger than my living room/dinning room. If someone wanted me, they could WAVE.)  

I came home and told Shawn how soul crushing that was--because, despite what you're thinking, modern libraries are NOT quiet places. Teens are often carrying on in the teen room, no one get shushed for talking, and so there's usually this pleasant hum of the kind of white noise you have at coffee shops.  She said, "So, don't work there again." And we joked that, because they had a basement, they must keep Dementors in it to suck all the joy out everyone who works there.

And then no one worked at Shoreview when they closed it to build the new building, and when I went back to the new place all the old managers seemed to have moved on, so I thought it was safe.

Not entirely, it turns out.

I know some of you are reading this thinking, "Jeez, Lyda, can't you just respect other people's wishes for silence?" And, yeah, you know, I did. I worked the rest of the day without making any happy noises whatsoever... or grumpy noises for that matter.  But, there's silence and then there's oppressive silence. And, while the money is nice, they need me more than I need them. There are six other branches that I can work at, where I can be appreciated for my bubbliness. Shoreview is the ONLY place I have EVER been hushed at my job.

And, I think what bothers me more than the shushing, is that it's always when I'm actually happy in a quiet corner, by myself. It's not like I'm standing in a busy place, not working, stopping anyone else from working, and  talking loudly with a coworker or laughing too much or doing the sorts of things that people normally associate with disruptive behavior. I am always, always totally alone and making very quiet happy joyful little commentary to myself in an not only inside voice, but in an only just barely audible voice. Half the time, I don't even realize I'm doing it, because it's not like I'm carrying on with myself in a booming 'can this reach the back of the balcony?' theater voice, which, by the way, I DO possess. I swear it really is that someone hears my joy and wants to kill it.

This is a bit hyperbolic. I will probably work there again, but it is a huge disappointment and I wanted to rant about it and lament that the Dementors are back.

Maybe they'll go away when the rain clears up.

I hear sunlight can kill a Dementor.

Admittedly, I have been procrastinating on setting up my work email so that I can view it from home. Several months ago, Ramsey County experienced a payroll hack that had IT scrambling to plug holes. One way in which they did so (inconveniently for _me_) was to set up a two-point authorization for those of us who need to check email remotely (i.e., from home.) This required an app and, thus, obviously, a smart phone, which I didn't have until very, very recently.

Even so, I've had my smart phone for a couple of months and I only just (after some good-natured harassment from my family yesterday) decided that today would be an excellent day to make all the various calls to the IT folks and Get It Done. First, I forgot my password enough that I locked myself out of the log-in page that would get me started on the process. Then, after calling to change it, I discovered that it didn't matter because I had been dropped off the official list of people who needed to access this whole deal. So, I had to call AGAIN. And, then wait an half hour.

So, I took full advantage of my half hour and I went to the library to return a book that was about to be due and to pick up another on hold. I then, went to the grocery store and picked up victuals for dinner tonight. (Mason really wanted "meat muffins"--which are basically individual meat loaves in muffin tins.)

Back at home I downloaded the app and thought I had it all set. Well, for reasons unknown to me, the process got hung up in the verification step and so I had to call IT AGAIN. This time the guy was one of those people that you sort of wonder how they keep their job because he was so inarticulate, while also insulting my intelligence ("Did you try to scan the QV code from the PDF?" To which I said, "Do you THINK I'm a moron?" He chuckled but added, "You'd be surprised how often that's the problem.") But, he also left me with the "instruction" to wait for a call back from IT when they were done resetting my account.

Good f*cking thing I didn't wait for a call before I tried again, because I'D STILL BE WAITING.

Instead, I thought, surely it's been long enough and I went through the process and this time it worked, no hitches.

Good news, everyone: I appear to still be employed by Ramsey County and I now have access to mail at home.

Woo.

Otherwise, I printed out all of the submissions for tomorrow night's Wyrdsmith's meeting (for those of you who are new subscribers, Wyrdmiths is an in-person writers' group that I founded back in 1997-ish[?] that has been on-going ever since. We meet on Thursday nights at a local coffee shop and talk writing.) We have one very short story from Adam, and new novel bits from naomikritzer I'm looking forward to reading and reviewing both of those tomorrow while I sit at the laundromat washing all of the rag rugs that poor Ms. Ball ruined with her Hell Poop^TM .

( Spell-a-Day Project (Jan 9) )

 I honestly do not know where the time goes.  

Well, yesterday I worked at the library.  I discovered some time ago that the Dementors, who had been banished from Shoreview (due to the sunlight and remodel,) have shifted to New Brighton. I ended up working New Brighton for two Tuesdays in a row and I'm thinking that I need to put New Brighton on my 'only if there are no other hours available' list. The Dementors at New Brighton are much more mild than they used to be at the old Shoreview--no one, for instance, has called administration to harass me for enjoying my job too much (yes, this actually happened at Shoreview in the past.)  BUT, it's kind of a death by a thousand cuts thing, you know?  I've talked about this before, but I think in addition to the silent "you just did the thing, but I'll redo it in front of you" there's also the general SLOWNESS of New Brighton. I probably wouldn't notice the first bit, if I were generally busier.  But, it's just not. The library is tiny and on days like yesterday, when it rained for much of the morning and afternoon, it's DEAD.  

People have time to get on each other's nerves when there isn't much else to do.

So, there's that. But, I mean almost any work environment is survivable for short, four hour shifts.  Add to that that money is a strong motivating force in my life and it's, ultimately, not much to complain about, really.

Yet I love to complain, so there's that as well.

Anyway, since it's Wednesday, I should probably at least mention some things I've read. I just finished reading a wonderful manga series called SATURN APARTMENTS.  It's science fiction, and, despite the title, it actually takes place on a ringed "apartment complex" in the Earth's stratosphere.  Our heroes are window washers.  I kind of feel like that should be enough to sell you on this manga, because WINDOW WASHERS IN SPAAAAAAAACE!  But, what else can I say about it?  It's charming. The hero is very plucky and outgoing and relentlessly cheerful and optimistic. There is a secret about Earth's surface, and class warfare. 

This is not the kind of manga that inspires fan fic. There aren't a lot of ships to sail and the art style is very atypical.  If you're normally turned off by the big eyes, etc., SATURN APARTMENTS might be a good first foray into the world of manga.  Outside of the fact that it reads "backwards," the story is much more like a typical Western graphic novel. 

I still haven't been able to consume many traditional novels. I have one, the Taiwanese mystery that I mentioned before, on my bedside table, but I keep finding other things to do with my time. I continue blame Trump for this problem.  I get awfully depressed when I think about what's happening in my country, and then all my brain wants to do is curl up on the bed and play mindless video games (like not even GOOD video games, stuff that's the mental equivalent of 'Solitaire.') 

The rain was lovely last night and I hope my grass seeds and flower seeds take root and grow.  I have a couple more gardens to try to clear out and figure out, but, as always happens this time of year, it all ends up seeming so daunting.... I mean, my problem has always been this love/hate relationship I have with gardens. I LOVE gardens and the idea of gardening, but I HATE weeding and the actual physical labor that goes into creating and maintaining a good garden.

Speaking of physical labor, I ought to go do the dishes.

I write so many things these days I'm sure it's hard to follow along, but, if you ARE following the School for Wayward Demons (looking at you, Frank G.) there is a new chapter up:  Gabe Sees Demons... And They See Him. Today's story is the introduction of one of "my" characters, Gabe Herrara.  The story also features art by Alexis Cooke:


If you didn't know, we actually have TWO artists working on the School for Wayward Demons.  So far, you've mostly seen the work of Mandie Brasington, but today, we not only get Gabe's debut, but Alexis' too.  This is just a small bit of a large piece I'm sure we'll see later on.

Anyway, I need to report that Glory is still alive.  I did try to take pictures of him, as I promised, but he's very concerned about that OTHER Siamese Fighting Fish that he can VERY CLEARLY SEE IN THAT REFLECTION, so he's always darting around trying to scare that troublesome dude away (my, but he is a handsome devil, though....)

In other news, today was super-busy. I worked from 9 to 1 at the Roseville Library.  I'm there today and Thursday shelving... it's all to see if I can continue to pass the numeric and alphabet quiz.  I guess I did well with the fiction, but I don't know how I did with the non-fiction because I had to leave before John had a chance to double-check my work.  Two things, I discovered today.  1) When allowed to work at my own pace, I shelve about a cart an hour, except non-fiction which takes me an hour and a HALF.  2) Yeah, I can see why John is testing people.  While shelving I came across a couple of books that were out of order.  I left notes for John saying, "Hey, I spotted this but didn't move it."  Because I wanted him to know that the problem was decidedly NOT ME.

Oh, and another thing, their adult graphic novel section needs me.  Badly.  But, because it was quiz day, I could not spend the time organizing that.  The problem, frankly, isn't entirely the shelvers fault.  The problem is the way comic books are read and the way the librarians want things organized (which makes FAR MORE sense to a reader of graphic work than it would to your average shelver, who doesn't.)  BECAUSE how it's organized is first by manga, then (and this is different at Roseville) by general non-titled graphic work, and then by collected series (ala Batman, Spider-Man, etc.)  So that people can know what is collected and what is NOT, there is a handy list, which I consult regularly because (of course) it's different at each branch (kind of. Mostly it's the same, but the collect somethings I wouldn't think to and don't collect some I think they ought, so I always double-check.)

Anyway, that was my work day.

THEN I drove right to pick up Mason, even though it was hours early, so I could sit in the car and study my Japanese, which I have to leave to go to in about ten minutes.  Our instructor quizzes us every week.  And I'm that student, so I'm highly motivated to try to get as many right as possible.  The only problem this week is that Mason didn't have swimming due to the MEA (or whatever the teacher conference thingies are called) and so I didn't get my usual practice in on Saturday morning.  I crammed today.  Thus, I have a feeling this time it isn't going to go as well as numbers, time, and counting did.

TBF, the previous week was HARD.  This week we mostly learned how to ask where things might find themselves, like, "Sumimassen, kaisuiyokujo wa doko desuka?" (Where is the beach?)  To which I've also learned ridiculously unlikely answers such as, "Kaisuiyokujo wa koko ni arimasu." (The beach is here) and "Kaisuiyokujo wa asoko ni arimasu." (The beach is over there.)

I'm pretty sure if I asked, "Sumimassen, yakkyoku wa dojo desuka?" (Where is the pharmacy?) I would get a complicated answer that might start, "Whoa, dude, you are so LOST...." and possibly end with "Holy crap, you puked on my shoe!  Do you have ebola or something??"

Which, again, is why I wish I could write my own Japanese how-to class exercises.

:-)

As an interesting side note to the post I had about how I tend to dislike Iron Man, I had a weird dream last night in which my subconscious put in its own two cents on the matter.

The dream was weird and involved zombies--they weren't the super-scary zombies that have been popular in movies and TV lately, but kind of shambling, somewhat harmless but totally persistent kind-of dead people.  My dream voice-over informed met that the zombies couldn't break the glass of the windows and couldn't break down the walls, but they'd be there at every window and door just STARING in and moaning piteously, which was just CREEPY.  The biggest scare of my dream was that people kept wanting to open the door to someone they recognized who'd turned into a zombie (I blame you naomikritzer at least partly for this dream!!)  And that was bad because they did seem compelled to try to bite people and spread the zombification.

At any rate, the dream continued in its dreaming way, until, at one point, Tony Stark showed up and offered all of us survivors iron suits of our own.  At which point the dream BECAME AWESOME because: flying.

So, apparently, my brain said: "Look, Lyda, clearly Iron Man is a GOOD guy."

:-)

In other news, I've spent part of the morning working on the sequel to Precinct 13.  I think I finally have a motivational plan that will get me to the finish line on this one (it involves AO3 and my friend empty_mirrors.)  When I'm ready to post the first part for public consumption (which I hope will be very soon), I'll put up a notice here and at my other social media outlets, because if I can get people at least giving me a few 'keep going!' kudos, I might actually do this without stumbling into a well of deep depression.  The ultimate goal will be to have enough material to self-publish an e-book.

I think I also alluded to the fact that my agent and I had a good talk.  She did not, despite my worries, point me to the door.  In fact, we did a lot of strategizing about how to make things work for 2014.  I did have to laugh at one point, though, because her advice is often, "Your job is to write a bestseller."  To which I'm always tempted to sarcastically reply, "Wait, what?  I was supposed to try to write a book people want to read??? NO ONE TOLD ME THAT!!!"  :-)

But my agent has a good heart and is still clearly very much on my side.  So that's a huge relief.

Similarly, I've had a lot of offers of support from people, which has been truly heartwarming.  So, now I just need to not slide into self-pitying depression and I should be golden!

Having a job actually helps this, I've found.  I mean, obviously, working eats up writing time, but I'm surrounded by books and it's really only four hour stretches.  Having a steady paycheck also does a lot to relieve the pressure.  Because bills are now being paid and that means some of the crushing guilt I had about not pulling my weight around the house has gone away.  My checks are still tiny, but they're steady.  That's surprisingly important.

Plus, the job is going very well. As many of you already know, I'm a fearless extrovert, so this means working at the front desk is actually fun for me.  I don't mind not knowing what I'm doing and most people are patient when you explain you're new to the job and still learning.  Plus, the way Roseville works is that no one is on the desk for longer than two hours, so I get time by myself in the stacks every day.  I've found I LOVE that part of the job and the biggest danger there is that I forget what I'm supposed to be doing and sit on the floor and start reading a book about Shintoism or whatever cool subject I'm supposed to actually be shelving.  :-)

In other news, while Mason and I have mostly gotten over the laryngitis thingie, Shawn is STILL suffering. This one is nasty, folks!  Shawn said she found an article on the CDC's website that said this virus might be a relative of the dreaded H1N1, Swine Flu.  I'd believe it, if only because when you're in the throes of it, you feel like you seriously have the plague and are going to DIE. Alas, being viral there's not much for it, except tea and sympathy.  I've been trying to give Shawn plenty of both.

Right, that's all the news that's fit to print for now.  Back to writing sequel!  Wish me luck!