Day in the Life of an Idiot

 
Image: Armenian food: chicken kabob wrap and frozen mint lemonade.

I'm having a late start to my writing today anyway since I had an early morning doctor's appointment (just a regular check-in). So, I thought I might as well take a few minutes and write to y'all about the Armenian festival at St. Sahag Church that Shawn and I went to on Saturday afternoon. 

By chance, Shawn and I were reminiscing about this on the way to the clinic. (Miraculously, Shawn and I had appointments at approximately the same time.) It was a lot LIKE the open house at the Watershed District in that it had a very small town, friendly vibe, with one critical difference--a difference that made us enjoy the cultural festival a little bit less. 

To set the stage first, however. St. Sahag is a very unimposing orthodox church a half of block in from Marshall Avenue on Hewitt.  This means nothing to my non-Twin Cities readers, but so you can picture this church having one end of its block abutting a decently busy throughway that connects St. Paul to Minneapolis (Marshall becomes Lake Street on the other side of the river.) The cross street just gives Twin Cities people a sense of the nearby neighborhood, which is working class--with the general mix of houses found throughout St. Paul, hidden grand Victorians and post-WWII ranches and every style in-between all sharing the same block. 

When Shawn and I first pulled up, we weren't sure if things were underway, even though we arrived a full half hour after festivities were scheduled to begin. The outside, as I said, was somewhat unassuming. So, no big signs pointing us to food, though we could see a few tents set up in the back of a permanent playground where a group of men seemed to be grilling. We decided to tour the exterior, if nothing else. On the opposite side of the church from the grillers was a big open door to a church basement, from which wafted the most mouth-watering flavors!  

In we went!

Once inside, we were greeted by two people, a man and a woman, who asked us what kind of tickets we wanted. This was another ticket = food situation, only here you paid in advance of what you thought you might spend. They had menus (with prices) posted everywhere, but it was still kind of an overwhelming decision. Since I had it in cash, I decided to just go for $20 to see what that might get us. I was handed a punch card with twenty dots on it. 

We were able to get a decent amount of food for twenty dollars. We bought the chicken kabob wrap and lemonade pictured above, as well as a couple of baked goods options from the upstairs, where the grandmas all had their cookies and cakes and such like on display. 

But here's where I think the major difference was. 

I think if Shawn and I were food tourists, we would have preferred the Armenian festival over the Watershed open house. If we'd had an unlimited budget, I'm sure we could have spent several hours (and an easy hundred bucks, if not more,) trying All The Things and having an amazing time doing it. The Armenians seemed aware of this. All of the entertainment was scheduled in the dining hall/church basement, on a little stage. So, ideally, one could find a spot at one of the tables to sit, watch the dancing or listen to the music and the other programming, while getting up every so often to refresh the lemonade or to try out some of the other foods on offer. 

As it was, we had a limited budget. So, when we filled up our punch card, we went home.  We went home happy? But it wasn't like the Watershed place where we could continue to explore all the FREE activities for as long as we wanted without feeling like we were occupying a table that should go to a paying customer, as it were. The Armenians had a bazaar, but, for us, that could only be window shopping at best, which is fine and FUN? But, again, we kind of hurried through that so that people who were going to spend money had the opportunity to do so.

And the festival was a fundraiser. Like, I do NOT begrudge them that.

Shawn and I were just trying to parse what it was about the comparably dorkier Watershed Open House that we liked so much more. I mean, obviously, we're dorks and government agency wonks, but, beyond that, this is what we could determine. One thing I learned from a year or so as a movie reviewer for the local queer newspaper is that things are automatically more enjoyable when they are FREE. I had to watch my tendency to say "it was fun!" about movies like Matthew Broderick's Godzilla (universally panned by everyone in the movie reviewing industry, EXCEPT my reivew in focusPOINT.* Oops. That's my contribution to cinematic criticism, everyone! Whee. )

At any rate, we still had a great time and I was happy to know that my guess as to what Armenian food might be like was pretty much on the money.



===
*doesn't link to my actual review, though depending on how many papers have been digitized, perhaps one could find it. (Ah, in my ancient CV, I discovered this citation: Lyda Morehouse.  “The Lizard King: ‘Godzilla,’”  focusPOINT 5 49: 206 (May 20 – May 1998): 13.)  It was even published on PAGE THIRTEEN. Yeah.... bad luck for me. I don't know how many more reviews I did for them after that, but it wasn't a whole lot.

 I am determined to be up-to-date on all of my health checks, so the past couple of weeks have been all about various check-ups. I got two vaccines I had not finished up (Shingles and Pneumococcal, the last being recommended for folks with asthma,) a hearing test (which I wrote about yesterday,) and then today I did my mammogram and a DEXA (which is bone density) check.  

Whoo.

I am turning 55 this year, so I figure it's important to have, at the very least, a baseline from here on out. 

I got all that done, so I guess I feel accomplished. Go me!  The only other thing that is probably overdue is a vision test. 

The only other thing of interest to report is, rather ironically, another live stream, albeit of a very different sort than HeyGo. I was finally able to watch my goddaughter Naomi's play. She is starring in The Queers. Here's a review: https://judy-nedry.com/fuse-theatre-ensemble-presents-the-queers/ ; and another: https://www.wweek.com/arts/theater/2022/03/15/the-queers-is-about-transgender-characters-living-loving-and-fighting-for-acceptance/

I've been thinking about the play ever since I saw it. I don't love it unequivocally, though I, of course, adore Naomi's acting. For myself, I had a lot of trouble sympathizing with characters who seemed hellbent on self-sabotaging the few good things in their lives. This play is partly autobiographical, however, so that explains a lot of that, I think. I don't know. It's certainly a testimony to the strength of the show that I'm still pondering it and having emotional reactions to it, days later.

So, it's Tuesday, which means I am getting ready for my class tonight.

I've actually had a busy week, so I haven't practiced as much. Plus, as I was telling Naomi via email, I've been really struggling over what to say this time.

The assignment should be easier than the previous one. All I have to do is come up with a couple of sentences that describes my family. I am SURE 88% of my class is not struggling with this at ALL--it's all very STRAIGHT forward for them, (pun intended!)

And, it's not that I feel at all weird or embarrassed or ashamed to say "my wife" either in English or Japanese  It's more that I feel like I want to say something more than the awkward mic drop of, "my family consists of three people: me, my wife, and my son." But, if you decide to watch the video, you'll know that, like, everything else that I came up to talk about is super awkward, too?? Maybe I should just chicken out and say: also we have three cats.



IF I had gotten my act together more, I would have polled all y'all to see what you think might be best.  However, given that I only have about four more hours until class starts, I have decided to bust out with the TMI option instead of the awkwardly sad option (see video for details.)

In other news, I had a good first class of my own, the one I taught on Friday. I do, in fact, have eleven (because there's always an add-on last minute) students and so that's a darned full class. I think it went pretty well, if I do say so myself. I find it's often really difficult to get people to engage via Zoom, but I managed some back-and-forth... not exactly discussion, but I asked questions that people actually seemed to want to answer. That was a major win from my point of view. It helps that the first class is basically all about talking about yourself and your writing habits.

Yesterday, one of the cool things that happened is that Christmas came early.

Shawn had been wanting a sewing machine that could handle hemming her rag rugs and finally a Singer came on sale a week or so ago that fit the bill. It was still expensive, but the price was irresistible. So,I bought it for her for Christmas. This is, of course, a ridiculous distinction since all of our money is merged, but so she turned around and bought me another years worth of my language program. We sang Christmas songs and called it done.

Obviously, we'll buy a few little things for under the tree once the snow flies and the season comes, but the pressure is now, officially, OFF.

Plus, Shawn got a new sewing machine.

In other exciting pre-holiday buying news, the charity anthology His Magical Pet will be going live SOON. In the meantime, here is the cover as a teaser!


Image: The cover for the anthology, His Magical Pet, which includes a story by me (Tate Hallaway).

Remember: All proceeds from the collection will be donated to OutRight Action International, which fights for the rights of LGBTQIA people worldwide.  Even if this wasn't for a wonderful cause, you should buy a copy anyway because not only is there a super adorable story by me in it, but a veritable QUEER METRIC ton of other amazing authors and stories!!  MAKES A PERFECT HOLIDAY GIFT FOR ANY QUEER HOLIDAY (which, let's get real, is ALL of them!!!) Queer Halloween! Queer Thanksgiving! Queer Christmas!!!  You'll need a copy for each season!!!!

I will let you know when the link goes live (should, with luck, be within a couple of days.) 

 When I signed up for the OutFront MN Zoom event called "Drag Queen Cookies with It Gets Batter," I initially thought I would be making cookies WITH drag queens, which, frankly, sounded like the epitome of fabulous.

However, it turns out that I had signed up to learn how to make a five-minute fondant that would be designed to look like drag queens.

Alas!

But, it was still a pretty fun event.  They sent along a recipe for a sugar cookie and asked us to make the "blank faces" ahead of time. I happened to have an egg-shaped cookie cutter (for Easter Egg cookies, I think, though this MAY be the first time I have ever used that particular cutter.) So, I made those Friday afternoon. They were pretty yummy on their own and since I had way more batter than I figured I'd need for a hour long event, I made the rest into the usual assortment of dragonflies, dinosaurs, cows, and chickens.  

At 7 pm, I dialed into the Zoom. The OutFront folks had us use a password, because Zoom bombing is a thing and this was "queer youth" led, so I mean, yeah, safety first.  Even so, we still had one guy who did no cooking, but just watched the event. Creepy or sad? Hard to know.

At any rate, there were probably no more than a dozen of us on the call. Basically we watched our host make fondant and tried to follow along as best we could. It was not the most organized Zoom event I've ever attended? But I'd say my results were fairly fabulous, nonetheless.


Image: cartoonish face with large hair, all of which is easy to do with fondant because it basically functions like sugar-based play dough.

I was also aided in this process by the fact that I happened to own baking markers. Yeah, like magic markers that you can safely eat. I did all of the "eyeliner" with these markers.


Image: windswept-hair and sultry-eyed cookie.

The fondant itself is not especially tasty, I must say. It is made with marshmallows and powdered sugar and two tablespoons of water. So, I mean, it takes like sugar? I feel like you could add something--lemon, peppermint, or even boring vanilla--and make it more tasty. 

If you are a fan of the local drag queen/king scene in Minneapolis/St. Paul, It Gets Batter is doing a fundraiser for out-of-work drag kings and queens in which they make cookies specifically for your favorite performer, which seems like a nifty charity.  I personally wouldn't have a clue, though I did like watching the Gaylaxicon event with Queens of Adventure.

I enjoyed the baking thing enough to sign up for a Gay Twin Cities virtual walking tour (it is also free)  later this month, which is TWO TIMES as many Pride events than I normally attend in June.

I am one of those old queers who grumbles about how commercialized Pride has become. I don't usually complain very loudly, honestly, because I definitely prefer a world where I can buy my Pride gear at Target rather than having to hand make it at home, hide somewhere to change into it, and then be terrified to wear it in public. And, I do remember those days. They were NOT the good old days; I'm just not fond of crowds.

Of course, no crowds this year, regardless. 

One of the things OutFront is sponsoring tonight that I'd really like to go to is a candlelight vigil for black, trans and gender non-conforming voices at Elliot Park.  However, if I am reading Google right, this park is the one near former Augustana nursing home and parking around there is nightmarish. I still have some time to decide, but I will be there in spirit. If nothing else, I may light a candle on my altar at 7:30 pm in solidarity.

Otherwise, the big excitement of this weekend was that on Saturday, a package arrived from Taiwan. jiawen sent along a care package of bits and bobs of stationary and fun pens and erasers and pins and tea and just a whole lot of lovely things. It was like Christmas in June. I am only sad that I did not think to get her on jitsi BEFORE I opened the box, so that we could have opened it together, but we did chat and I basically squeed happily for a half hour straight. So, that was desperately fun. If you are a pen pal of mine, expect some fun new stationary in your next letter from me.

Friday afternoon, Shawn and I also hazarded a trip to the fabric store which is exciting in these days of the pandemic. Shawn was able to browse pretty well, but that was because I volunteered at tribute and stood in the line for cutting. I was a bit shocked to discover so many people without masks. My friend naomikritzer and my wife both suspect there's some kind of Republican/Trump-supporting bent to the crafters who shop at JoAnne's and I suspect they're both right, though I wish I understood why that's true. Shawn suggested that it's a "homemaker" bent. Like, the kind of woman who learns to sew is more likely to be the sort to stay at home to support her man?  I dunno. I want it to change. Surely, I shouldn't have to go to a more expensive store just to hang out with the other liberal crafters.

I did pick up some more quilting fabric, though, including some Avengers fabric. So, that was worth it.

Today (and most days, if I'm honest,) I also dithered around the garden and discovered a baby native pollinator. 


Image: a striped "parsley worm" nomming my parsley, probably to the ground, but she will transform into a native pollinator: the black swallowtail butterfly so she gets to have all the parsley she wants.

How was your weekend?

I volunteered this morning at Quatrefoil Library, like I do, from time to time.  As I was leaving, I ran into an older lesbian (the library shares its space with a 55+ queer-friendly and low-income housing) who saw me leaving the library and assumed I worked there. She wanted to know if the board position had been filed. I told her I thought it had, but they can always use more volunteers, so she should check with the staff when the library was open. I 'leaned in' a little to say that Q Library specifically needs more lesbians.  She leaned in deeper to say, "More *identified* lesbians."  I pulled back and give her the ?? stare.  She says, "Oh, I talked to some woman there not long ago and she was all, 'oh, I dunno, asexual, I guess?'"  I'm standing there with my mouth open because I'm thinking, "And?" and this woman thinks I'm aghast for a different reason and continues with, "I know, right? What did we fight for, eh? So these kids can be 'oh I don't know!'"  She's super affronted and horrified and kind of goes on in this manner for a while.  I just go, "Um." And make my excuses and leave, but in the car, I'm thinking about this exchange and I'm reminded, too, about some other older feminists in my life and conversations I've had with them and I WISH I had had the wherewithal to say, "Look, I'm sorry, but GLBTQIA+ is not some club *you* founded. It's an IDENTITY. You don't get to decide who is a member or not.  That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works. Ace and Questioning are absolutely part of the queer spectrum!"

But, I didn't.

I hate that. I also hate the assumption that because I'm (white and) older now, I'm down with whatever they-think-they're-still-the-radicals-but-they-actually-are-the-empitome-of-conservative agenda these other older, white women have.  The moment you say, "we fought for" in past tense, sisters, you're not radical.  Radical is walking in the now, present-tense--knowing what your twenty-something and under comrades are fighting for today and supporting THAT (or at LEAST shutting up and listening.)

I hate this especially now. We need -all- our allies, even the ones that don't fit into whatever image you have for queerness.  You'd think the older lesbians would remember that. You'd think they'd remember what it was like when we were all outsiders, all under attack.

This has become my new battle cry: "Don't be Rory!"

For instance, after writing up my whole long screed about the Gilmore Girls mini-series, it occurred to me that a good journalist would actually try to pitch that as a column. So I did. You can now read my thoughts at: http://bitterempire.com/gilmore-girls-year-life-whiny-baby-rory/.  Ha! Take that, girl with no ideas to pitch!

Then, today I got a reply back from Quatrefoil Library about the volunteer positions I was interested in.  The woman who contacted me said she would love to have a resume.  My first thought was a very Rory-like, "What? For a volunteer position??" and then I thought, "No, don't be Rory."

Thing is, I think there's a real shot that Quatrefoil might consider me for a board position if I play my cards right.  So, I actually spend a good deal of time a professional resume that highlights the skills and experiences I have both in the GLBTQ+ community, professional fiction writing, and in various library and archives positions I've had over the years. (I'm still actually fine-tuning and making sure Shawn, who gets a lot of resumes as part of her job, not only reviews it, but proofs it too!) 

The upside? You know what? I actually look pretty damn good on paper.  I've worked in libraries/archives for a LONG time: my current work at the Ramsey County Library system is very focused on practical library skills, but I also worked as office manager/processing assistant/receptionist at institutions like the Immigration History Research Center, the Ramsey County Historical Society, and the Minnesota Historical Society. At all of those jobs, while I wasn't always doing actual archival work, I learned a lot about what the point of archives is and how they function. Add to that the fact that I have a lot of general publishing knowledge, have been a teacher for DECADES at the Loft, and, you know, even my reviews of yaoi/yuri count towards a broader sense of the GLBTQ+ book/writing community. I mean, I used to be a regular contributor to Equal Time!  (Oh! I should find a place to note that on the resume!)

And now, to complete my "Don't be Rory" I'm reading the History of the Quatrefoil Library so that when I go into this meeting, I won't be completely clueless about the organization!  

So yeah, always ask yourself: what I can *I* bring to this organization?

Am I right!?

But I'm also excited to be volunteering for them (potentially) because I really feel like in this up-coming political environment, we're going to need our history.  Particularly the history of marginalized and minority groups. Who knows, maybe we'll need these collections as a resource for how to rebuild a revolution, you know?

*sigh*

But one day at a time.  Stand up!  Fight!