Day in the Life of an Idiot

 I had no idea that Minicon was my age. (Though I understand from fanlore that there is some wonkiness about the numbering--two in one year or something, perhaps, as Wikipedia says MInicon started in 1968 and I was born in 1967.)

I'm not sure what I can actually say about this con, in public. 

I'm going to try to say some stuff, anyway.

I was there Friday night for a panel called "Shipping Light and Darkness," which was, in my opinion, somewhat of an unmitigated disaster brought on by one panelist's uncharacteristic desire to, I can only imagine, make some kind of moral point about villains and villainy (and how that translates into real life relationships, which was not at all in the panel description.) This bizarre moral stance instantly yucked everyone's yum and put the other five of us on the defensive. We had all expected to be able to squee about our favorite dark characters and now, having been called out, we were all forced to try to explain how a person might be attracted to someone morally reprehensible, which is not, in fact, defensible, but also not at all why any of us actually ship this stuff. In fact, several panelists tried to point out, in fact, that dark does not equal evil, and not all villains are evil. Some fictional villains get cast into that role unwittingly, some are fighting an unjust society (maybe badly, see: Magneto,) some are villainous, but not necessarily cruel, etc. But once accused, we all looked like we were scrambling, which... was not cool or particularly fair.

I'm not going to name names because this person is a friend of mine and I have no idea what possessed them to "play devil's advocate," as an excuse to just go on the attack. We managed to muddle through despite that, but it was, for me at least, difficult to recover from because this moral judging of our choices was not something this person seemed willing to let go of, even once I pointed out that their comments were a kind of kink shaming. We just kept getting hit over and over and over that our desire to write about fictional villains somehow reflected on our moral character and/or that we might be somehow influencing young people to make poor life choices.

Not a great start. Add to that, I was late to the panel in part because registration neither knew my name, nor had everything I needed. I got Lydia'd on my home turf, which is not great for my ego, and, on top of that, the registration person had no programming material for me (no, for those of you who were there, it was NOT in my envelope. I took everything out of it and shook it upside down. No programming sticker was in there.) So, I had to take an extra five seconds to try to find which room I was in, etc.

Also, the last bit of programming e-mail I had gotten was in February, and I'd thought, having read that, that I was only on this panel and one other on Sunday (Saturday being my high tea day). Turns out, after this awful panel, when I decided to just go home and have pizza and a date night with my soon-to-have-a-birthday wife, I got a text from my friend Jason T. with con news you never want to hear, "Uh, Lyda, aren't you supposed to be on this kaiju panel?" First of all, I know nothing about Japanese monsters, outside of the few times they intersect with manga, and what??? NO, I had no idea I was supposed to be on another panel on Friday night!! Obviously, I would have stayed had I known.  Luckily, when I ran into the moderator of that panel, my friend Anna W., I was able to apologize and find out that the panel had been fine without me. Turns out there was a bonified Japanese Studies Professor as the other panelist, so Anna just pivoted to interview-style and it went swimmingly.  Given how grumpy I was after the shipping panel, I'm not sure things would actually have been improved had I been there. Still, no one likes missing a panel.

Sunday, at least, was somewhat of an improvement. My paneling went amazingly. I moderated a panel called "Which was Better: the Anime or the Manga?" I had thought that this was going to be a fairly dull conversation because nine times out of ten the manga is the storyboard for the anime, the end. Luckily, I had been contemplating this for several days and was prepared with some exceptions and questions. The only screw-up there was on me--for some reason, at the beginning, I kept calling one of the panelists Steve and not Scott (which is his real name.) Luckily, people corrected me, I was able to apologize several times both on the panel and off, and got his name right going forward. Afterwards, Scott told me that his family often also calls him Steve because he has a similarly aged cousin named Steve. I told him I wasn't sure if that made my mistake better or worse.

BUT, I do have to note that before that panel I was hanging out in the green room, which is the custom of Minicon, awaiting my fellow panelists, and I grumbled about this panel's topic in front of someone who decided that my problem was that I'm just, generally, a terrible moderator (and possibly also a terrible human being) and that what I really needed was Moderator 101 advice. I know it's  not in your nature to be nurturing, Lyda, but you could try it! Also, maybe shut up now and again and let other people talk! Haha!

Which... I wish I were being hyperbolic, but I'm not. That is what was said to me, maybe a little jokingly but... OK.

Again, not going to name names because I really do think that this "advice" was coming from a place of genuine care and love, it was just not... delivered the best. I mean, I made a joke of it afterwards to this person and I want them to know, even now, if they are reading this, I *get* where it was coming from, I really do, but it's a good thing that I know myself far, far better than they do, so it literally bounced off me. I guess I invite this sort of critique with my con persona, but I don't really know quite what happened there, either.

Mercury is retrograde, at least. That might account for some of it, but holy shit.

It made for a really interesting convention for me. I was judged a Nazi-f*cker by one friend and as lacking paneling (and nurturing!) skills by another. 

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, the play was fine. How was your weekend?

 
Image: Man, you can tell how dark my shade garden is, can't you? Also my faux bird bath with petunias and a frog statue.

I think it's pretty obvious that Mercury is Retrograde. Scandals are roiling through the SF/F community once again, our internet dropped for a good solid six hours yesterday (ahead of the storm,) and I tried to slice my pinky off while doing the dishes yesterday evening.

That damned mischievous planet doesn't go direct until July 12.

And before anyone asks: no and yes, okay? No, I don't really believe in astrology. I do not actively base my life on the movements of the sun, the planets, or the moon. Does it entertain me? Yes, and at the level of Tarot, which is to say I have moments of being rather serious about it, while not taking it SERIOUSLY, if that makes sense. 

As for the scandals, I'm not sure where to begin. I normally am not a big Reddit fan, but this person has a nice round-up here: https://www.reddit.com/r/HobbyDrama/comments/hgbjry/fantasy_books_a_number_of_authors_are_coming/

So, I did what I often do when things get sh*tty. I made a pie.


Image: lattice work pie, including goofy heart-shaped cut out. A good-looking pie that we didn't actually cook enough so the rhubarb stayed kind of hard. Alas!