Day in the Life of an Idiot

As I've said on Facebook, I have absolutely no idea why critics and fans are hating on this movie.

The criticisms, as I understand them, are: "Rey is a Mary Sue," "Luke Wouldn't," "Leia Can't," and "It's Messy." Let me try to tackle these, in order, from my point of view.

1. "Rey is a Mary Sue."

If Rey is a Mary Sue; Luke was a Gary Stu. What I've heard people saying are things like, "BUT how can she use the Force like that?? She got NO TRAINING!" First of all Rey doesn't really use the Force for very much. No, really, she uses it in the ways Luke did in the first movie (aka "A New Hope," to the kids out there.) She lifts rocks. She scoots lightsabers around. Otherwise, she's entirely manipulated by Snokes. What people are reacting to, I think, is that she can hold her own in a lightsaber battle against Kylo Ren, who presumably trained with his weapon for several... years? ... months? ...days? before destroying the Jedi training encampment. Star Wars: The Force Awakens very much shows us WHY Rey can fight Ren. The answer: she has literally been fighting her whole life. She grew up in a culture where everyone fought for scraps, so of course, she's learned to defend herself. There's even a scene in Star Wars: The Last Jedi where she is first practicing with her staff and then realizes she could use the light saber the same way, AS IF WE NEEDED REMINDING that she's been using that weapon her whole life, BUT APPARENTLY SOME OF YOU DO. Haters? Try to remember that ya boy, Luke, was a FARMER, who whined about not getting to go to the hardware store with his buddies. He knew how to FARM moisture (and presumably Uncle Owen did the heavy lifting there), but y'all have no problem believing the he could swing across a chasm with Leia in his arms AND fight his way out of a fire fight with (admittedly bad shots, but presumably) trained soldiers of the Empire? Okay. DOUBLE-STANDARD, MUCH???

2."Luke Wouldn't."

One of the things I loved in this recent film was Yoda's reappearance, and his return to his original character. But, one of the first thing Yoda does when talking to Luke in "Star Wars: The Last Jedi" is bop him on the head and say, (paraphrase), "Look at you, you still can't be in the present, your mind is always on the next thing." This was, supposedly, the backbone of why Luke was in danger of seduction from the Dark Side in "Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back." Luke has always been on the edge of Darkness. That's part of what made him INTERESTING in both Empire and "Star Wars: The Return of the Jedi." Do I get the arguments that Luke's disillusionment is annoying? Sure, but, Haters, don't you get it? IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE. The Last Jedi of the title is NOT Luke, but Rey. This is NOT Luke's story; it's Rey's. She's the counter to his disillusionment. It is EXPLICIT in the movie that Rey represents the Hope the the Rebellion needs, NOT LUKE. Haters, Luke was your favorite, I get it, but I also hate to tell you this: he's not wrong. The Jedi are kind of crappy.... if you really look at what they've done throughout the franchise, they're not that great. Anikin couldn't even convince the Jedi Council that SLAVERY WAS BAD, and maybe sending some folks to liberate the slaves might be a good idea.

Also, y'all might disagreed, but when Luke distilled his disgruntled attitude into the sentence, "The Force doesn't belong the the Jedi alone; it should belong to everyone," I WAS SOLD. I have long hated the idea that midiclorians made certain people special, the end. If the Force is supposed to be the stuff that binds the universe together, shouldn't ANYONE be able to tap into it, given enough training? I have always bought the idea that some people are more sensitive to it, but I had always hoped that was more like an awareness (as opposed to critters in your blood, presumably inherited.)

But that's me.... and would Luke try to kill baby Kylo Ren? Well, I believed Luke's explanation of events. It seemed within the realm of possibility. It was a mistake that he tried to take back the moment he considered it, but couldn't. HOWEVER. This one is harder to argue, because I understand being mad at a writer when they take a character in a direction you don't like. That's legit, Haters. If you just hate it because you're mad that they screwed up your image of a character, I feel you, fam. (I hated where they went with Han Solo, after "Star Wars: Return of the Jedi," so I get it. However, you don't see me saying that silly Han can't be canon or getting a petition going that because the writers made him stupid, Return should be cut from the franchise.)

3. "Leia Can't."

The way Leia used the Force to save herself from the vacuum of space is the only thing that came close to snapping my suspenders of disbelief, but, in the middle of the scene, I actually consciously thought, "OH, WHY THE HELL NOT?" at least Leia doesn't have to die a stupid death and maybe they can say, "She's retired" or "Off in a remote sector" in the next movie and we can just always have Leia, even though Carrie Fisher died IRL. Was is cheesy? Was it over the top? TOTALLY. I don't f*cking care. As Mason said, "Okay, so we've never seen the Force used this way, to keep air in a bubble around you, but who's to say it can't be done?" I mean THEY CAN CALL LIGHTNING FROM THE SKY AND I DON'T SEE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT THAT, HATERS.

4. "It was a mess."

Seriously, you're going to complain that the subplot with Finn and Rose was unnecessary? Did you really want two and a half hours of a slow space battle? But, sure, okay, stuff could be trimmed, but I don't know why any of the Haters think this is a new problem for Star Wars. The stories have always been convoluted, literally from day one. Did we need to go to Mose Wisely to pick up Han and Chewie? Couldn't Obi Wan Kenobi had a space cruiser buried in the sand? The movie started with the droids, shouldn't it just stick with THEIR story and THIER point of view??? These movies have always been bloated and rambling, FRANKLY, THAT'S PART OF THEIR CHARM FOR ME.

You hate it? Fair. Just don't act like this is something new for Star Wars.

The rest? I'm not going to tackle arguments that the Porgs are stupid. If you didn't like them, that's fine. But, don't act like it's the end of the world. No one liked the Ewoks, either, and somehow Star Wars survived their inclusion. At least the Porgs were just window dressing and weren't actually important elements of the plot.

The complaints that Kylo Ren is a waste of space? I got nothing. You like him or you don't. (I happen to have been a fan from the VERY FIRST moment that he stopped a blaster shot mid-air.) But he's always had his detractors. That's life. IMHO, Ren is still miles above Jar-Jar Binks. At least Ren isn't a walking racial stereotype.

Edited to add, okay, Haters, you like this one, too, so I'm going to blow it up.

5. "It's just a retread of the original series."

Seriously, stop with this one. There are stories we tell again and again and again. The story of the lost soul who becomes a hero? Yep. There's a million of them, and "Star Wars: New Hope" and "Star Wars: Force Awakens" is the same, but you know what else is" King Arthur and Harry Potter and Spider-Man, and THESE STORIES ARE THE SAME, BUT THEY ARE DIFFERENT. I will ALWAYS sign up for this one again and again and again and AGAIN.

After I offered this, I had someone new come on and say, "Blowing up the Deathstar and blowing up Starkiller Base are pretty much the same thing." As I said there: Is "we've seen people blow things up before," really your strongest argument about why TFA and TLJ are getting so much hate? Seriously, just stop watching science fiction action movies if you are SO TIRED of heroes blowing up big space ships.

But to people who are mad that they didn't pick a story from the extended universe, fine. I'm mad they said all that wasn't canon, too, but that does mean we got to keep Chewie alive.