Day in the Life of an Idiot

My folks came up to visit Mason (and to deliver two dressers -- my folks are perpetually "downsizing" their possessions.  It's some weird Me Generation thing, I think.)  Shawn took the day off too, and we headed out this morning to Shady Acres Herb Garden and bought a couple hundred dollars of herbs... Dude!  No, not those kind... anyway, we spent much of the afternoon getting some gardens ready and even planting some things.  We have a spiral-shaped herb garden, and I always try to outline as much of the stone path as I can in johnny-jump ups and parlsey.  It makes for a nice boder.  I got about half-way before we all got too hot and had to come in for lemonade and several games of shoots-and-ladders.  

The memorial garden for Ella is starting to come together.  I've only got one line of the poem Sean M. Murphy wrote on the anniversary of her conception, "Samhain Girl" because I have to mix one or two bricks at a time.  Still, I planted some kid-friendly flowers -- strawberries, day-lilies and a russian sage -- in the hopes that it will be the kind of place that Mason will like to play in, too.  He's been very funny about his sister.  He knows about her because we talk about her, and of course, he's been very active in helping plant this garden, which we all call "Ella's Garden."  The other day he said (much to the mortification of his mother, who is a bit more senstitive about all this -- I process by talking; Shawn doesn't.), "When I die, I hope someone writes a poem for me."  

My response was, "I hope so too."  Shawn reminded him that he wouldn't have to worry about that for a long, long time.  But, I don't think he was freaking out about death at that moment (he has on other ocassions, as any kid will).  I think what he was really wishing for was for someone to remember him.  I think, in a lot of ways that's the measure of a life, being remembered.  That's all I really want, too.  Someone to sing a dirge or write a poem or, hell, think of me on a sunny day, you know?

Mason has really started to want friends, generally.  He doesn't actually have very many because we can't afford pre-school (hence the pre-K public school option that starts next fall) and I suck at making friends with adults with kids.  I tend to askew fake friendships -- I don't have a lot of lesbian/gay friends because I tend to prefer to have more in common than sexual practices.  My friends are genre fans and genre writers.  Not nearly enough of them have kids Mason's age.  As I was telling a friend we met up with for a picnic dinner on Thursday, I think that the other stay-at-home moms can tell I'm a lesbian and don't tend to try to make friends.  Plus, Mason and I go to places where there's casual attendence -- we've never done ECFE or that sort of thing -- though we do hang out at specific parks and such like.  I know that this friend problem will be solved once he starts school in the fall, but I wish there was something I could do about it now.

Oh, yeah, and SHE made a few bestseller lists.

And I dyed my hair blonde.  Interesting social experiment note:  only men have commented on my hair color change.  The men at Wyrdsmiths mentioned last Thursday (though none of the women did.)  My male barista, Paul, commented on it when he saw me.  My FATHER said something... a stranger that I see at Cafe Amore on a regular basis (male) also said something.  Very strange.  The only woman to say anything has been my mother.